True Confessions

TGIF. At least for me it is. I am only working Mondays through Wednesdays right now, so I'm officially done with my work week. And let me tell you- I am so glad. This week has been unusually long and taxing. From patients with difficult wounds, to patient's wives with difficult attitudes, it all went down this week.

I've also had a really heavy heart about a few things lately. Mainly- money. Don't get me wrong. I'm not necessarily worried about money. God ALWAYS provides in ways that I'm sure we don't even notice sometimes in our simple-mindedness.

The issue is that since we've had Bryson we are paying an ungodly amount of money for health insurance. If I have to work to help pay for that, then we have to pay childcare expenses. And the vicious cycle just goes on and on. So, the real issue is adjusting to the different changes that have recently come along.

Here is the thing. I have a habit now of replying to most situations dealing with money by immediately spewing out the words "We're poor." For instance, this morning I was at work and someone asked me if I wanted to buy some Premiere Jewelry for a party she was having. I looked at her, and then said "I'll look but we're pretty poor."

I have noticed that I do this A LOT. Way more than I should. I watched a sermon last Sunday on becoming wealthy. Of course, this preacher was not talking about financial wealth, but richness in the Lord. He had some really good things to say. Did you know that if you earn a combined household income of $37,000 or more you are in the top 4% of the wealthiest people in the world? And, if you earn a combined income of $45,000 you are in the top 1%? OMG! That puts things into perspective, doesn't it? Did you know that 55% of people in Haiti (pre-earthquake) worked all day to make less than $1. You read that right- working all day to make less than a buck- what many of us would disregard as pocket change.

So, this week the Lord has really shown me how blessed we are. Financially we have everything we need, and honestly, most of the things we want. I have the most amazing husband and the sweetest little boy I could possibly dream of.

Yesterday I went into the home of a young man who was married shortly before he went out for a night of fun with the boys. He had a few too many drinks and then decided to get behind the wheel. You can guess what came next. He totaled his vehicle, leaving him paralyzed from the neck down with a tracheotomy tube for breathing and currently has five horrible bed sores. His newlywed wife cannot work because he needs 24 hour assistance. Can you imagine what he has to live with everyday? And his wife (who I know loves him dearly but I'm sure did not plan on a lifetime of this when she said "I do")?

So, lots of other examples this week, but today was the greatest of all. After I made my comment about being poor in front of all of the nurses, I decided that I will not say that anymore. It is simply not true and I need to get off of it. I left the office and went to a new patient's home to start him on our services. His wife was absolutely awful towards me. She corrected everything I said and treated me like I was incredibly stupid. I left there trying not to feel down, but definitely did.

I stopped at Chick-fil-A and actually went in because I had to go to the bathroom. On my way into the bathroom I noticed a young girl sitting in the back corner booth with a baby in a car seat and two large bags on the floor. She was talking on the phone and she was crying. Of course this scene pulled at my heart a little bit, but I kept walking, focused on the situation I had just come out of and what the rest of the day would hold. As I walked out of the bathroom I stopped and said "Your baby is so cute." She immediately smiled and said thank-you through her tears. I asked if she was okay. She said yes and when I said she didn't look so good she again assured me that she was fine. I asked a few questions about her baby, told her that I hoped her day got better, and went up to the counter to order my lunch. There was a man in front of me ordering an ice cream cone. He turned around and asked me if that girl was okay- explaining that he had been sitting nearby and was trying to listen to her phone conversation but couldn't. He was also concerned. I told him what she had said, and he went on his way. After I got my food I still felt a strong nudging to go back and talk to the girl. I was thinking about reading the Harughty's blog and the story of Samantha stopping to pray with a crying woman in the hospital. I remember reading that story and wondering if I would/could ever be that brave. So, I said "Here I go Lord," took a deep breath and walked back to the back of the restaurant to where the girl was sitting. She greeted me with a smile, but was obviously still very upset. I said "Are you sure you're okay?" She shook her head yes. I said "Have you had lunch yet?" She shook her head no and another tear rolled down her face. I said "Can I buy you some lunch? I would really love to!" She said no, and then I insisted. She quickly gave in and said anything would do. I said "Lets go up to the counter so you can order what you want." So she grabbed the baby and headed up to the counter. Then the man that I had seen at the counter buying ice cream spoke up from a few tables over and said that he had a coupon for a free sandwich. I walked over to get the coupon, but he couldn't find it in his wallet. He then pulled out $6 and told me to use it for her lunch. I told him that I would buy it, but he looked at me so convincingly and said "Please, let me do this. Don't tell her it's from me." I doubted for a minute, but then took his money, said thank-you, and went up to the counter. It was then that she told me she had never been to Chick-fil-A. Crazy! So, she ordered chicken nuggets and we got the 12 piece meal because I was thinking it might be good if she had some left over for later. When they handed her her food she looked at me and started crying again. She said thank-you and we hugged, and then I left in complete amazement at what had just happened.

God used me in that situation. I am convinced. The most interesting thing to me is that he used me as the vessel, and the other man as the financial means. What an awesome God we serve.

So, as I sit here tonight picturing that girl's face, remembering that sweet baby Levi who had a dirty face and an even dirtier diaper, I am thankful for all that we have. We are so blessed not only financially with more than we even need, but with amazing families, friends, and a loving church family. I am thankful for a job that I am so passionate about that puts things into perspective for me every single day.

Thanking the Lord tonight for wealth in every aspect of our lives...