Information Overload

Jason and I headed to Houston early this morning for another day full of appointments. The Kenleys were so sweet to let us drop Bryson off in the wee hours of the morning, and then Jenny drove him to Erin's house. {Thank you, Kenleys!} 

Our morning started with a visit with a social worker. This particular social worker works in the NICU, and was actually just the person on-call who handles these consultations (they rotate). She was wonderful and really just wanted to make sure that we have a support system in place for the long weeks ahead. She also shared information on a few of the resources that will be available to us after Caroline arrives. Unfortunately there is no planning to be done on this front as her needs could vary drastically based on when she arrives. But, we were assured that they {the social work team} will handle all of this and guide us through it step by step. What a relief! Here I was thinking that we were supposed to know all of this stuff and that we should already be working on it {talk about stressing out!}. This social worker said that if we would like we can request her after Caroline is born. I think we will definitely be doing that {I added her card to my growing collection}.

Next we had a tour of the hospital{s}. I will be checking into St. Luke's on Wednesday night. Then I will be wheeled over to Texas Children's Hospital for surgery on the morning of the 15th. My surgery is scheduled for 10am. After surgery I will spend some time in recovery and then return to my labor and delivery room for at least three days. A room with no windows. A room where I will have to stay in bed and pretty much not move for three days. I also found out today that among the slew of medications I will be receiving is Magnesium Sulfate to keep my uterus relaxed and happy. I have heard this makes you feel like death. Not. Looking. Forward. To. It.

But, after three or so days I should be able to come off of that and then will slowly start returning to feeling like a human again. I also will have an epidural placed prior to surgery for pain control which should be removed around the three day mark as well. My brain is completely overloaded right now just thinking about it. The good news is that anesthesia will be giving me some sort of cocktail to make me relax as they wheel me down the hall to TCH {can I have it now, please!? :) }

After touring labor and delivery we were lead into the NICU. And let me just say- A. Maz. Ing.

I have never seen anything like it. Never ever ever. I saw a baby tinier than I ever could have imagined possible and soon found out that this baby was just born at 24 weeks {which will be Caroline's gestational age at the time of surgery}. Jason is still shook up. Crazy. That is the only word I know for it.

The NICU at TCH is ranked #4 in the country. It is warm and quiet and dimly lit. The neonatologist said that they are trying to mimic the placenta and grow these babies until they are big enough to go home. There is a Ronald McDonald house on the same floor as the NICU, and after Caroline is born we can stay there as long as she is in the NICU. We will have 24 hour access to her. Even Bryson will be able to go in and see her. We are amazed {and at the same time a little traumatized} by what we saw today. I have really realized the HUGE importance of prayers in keeping Caroline in the womb until at least 30 weeks.

After the NICU tour we met with one of the neonatologist. She was very patient and as Jason said- drew everything out- even every word she said was written down. I appreciated that because when you have such a huge amount of scary information coming at you pictures are very helpful. :)

She explained the risks of Caroline being born at 24 weeks. 25% of these babies don't survive {and 40% of those NOT born at TCH don't survive}, and of those who do most will have serious deficits. The good news is that most of these deficits are related to respiratory issues and I will be receiving two rounds of steroid shots {ouch!} next week to help her lungs develop. Please, please, please pray that she does not make an appearance until at least 30 weeks- and I am going for 35! At 30 weeks they say it is a pretty "ho hum" delivery. We could sure go for "ho hum" right now.

On an interesting note- when the neonatologist was explaining the different risks of being born at 24 weeks, she said "Babies who are born at 24 weeks in other places, like Temple for instance, and then have to be transported, have a 40% mortality rate." Jason and I looked at each other, and then I asked her if she knew we had originally been referred to Temple. She had no idea! OK God- we get it! We are in the right place {and thank you for that!}.

And lastly we met with the anesthesiologist. She told me everything they would be doing, from the epidural {which I didn't realize I would have} to the high amount of anesthesia I will need administered to cross the placenta and reach Caroline. There will be two anesthesiologists in the room- one for me and one for Caroline. They will also {I think} administer a nerve block on Caroline once her back is exposed before they start the repair.

A quick {unplanned} meeting with the financial counselor gave us one of the biggest reliefs of the day. My insurance has given authorization for the surgery {we can't even begin to imagine what it will cost}. That is one less burden we will now have to face.

We left TCH completely overloaded with information, shaking in our boots a bit {me!}, but ready to do this. I know this is the best option for us. I know this is what has to be done.

My husband of gold brought tears to my eyes today when he told me that he wished he could switch places with me, and especially wishes he could with Caroline.

Scared but very blessed. That's where I am tonight.